so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
