new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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