You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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