Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
