there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
