none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
