Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
