this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
