So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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