Having a random hookup so left but love u
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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