goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
