hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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