babies were throwing up all over the place
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
