69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
