I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
