I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
