My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
