Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Randomize
