i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
