Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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