Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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