Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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