dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
