what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
