I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
