Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
