dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
