I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
