.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
