tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
