I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
