I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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