Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
