somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
