Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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