do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
