Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
