am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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