I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
