i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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