her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
