thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
