She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
