They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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