Soap is not a condiment
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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