The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
