So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
