Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
