You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
