Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
