Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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