Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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