Sponge bath it is.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
