Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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