Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
