Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
