i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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