Yo dont text me then not text me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
